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2012: It’s time to stop pulling.

December 31, 2011

I think I’ve briefly alluded to the fact that I pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows in previous posts. I’ve been doing it now for about 10 years; the last 5 or so I’ve been trying to give up.

I’ve come a long way since the beginning; I remember getting bullied in class for having no eyelashes. Since then the puffy swelling around my eyes has become a thing of the past – for the last few years I’ve become very concerned about the fact that every time I do it, it might be one pull too far and the lashes won’t grow back at all so I haven’t been doing it as badly. But still doing it.

The main problem I have with doing it, is that I enjoy it. I enjoy the spike of pain, the sense of relief; it feels good. It’s a nice feeling and I enjoy it, but I need to give it up. It’s been going on too long. Like I already said, the supply of lashes isn’t endless and I don’t want to have to wear false eyelashes for the rest of my life. So this is it. It’s time to stop pulling.

I wanted to add some photos, but there are two problems: I am hideously unphotogenic right now and I couldn’t get the camera close enough. I will keep trying.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. theartofmakingitoutalive permalink
    December 31, 2011 12:07 pm

    I know what you mean about enjoying it, sometimes I can get a pair of tweezers and just pull at every visible hair, and it makes me feel better for a while. I hope that you manage to stop this year 🙂 xx

  2. January 4, 2012 5:47 pm

    Dear Kate, I understand what you go through is difficult and yes, it is a kind of self harming by enjoying the pain. I suffered from Trichotillomania for 24 yrs and it is years now that I found freedom. I did not even know that had a name, I had no idea that other people suffer from it! I do pray that you meet your task for this year and find freedom my dear. It is not easy but keep focusing. Loosing a battle doesn’t mean you lost the war! Blessings, Dimitra

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