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Evil, Personified

April 11, 2011

In the shower, trying to scrub off the evil I have amassed.

But it won’t come off, it won’t go away, it leaves no space for explanations, for what I did and why. The only thing is accepts is my acceptance of the evil inside. I don’t want to be so evil, but then I bring it on myself.

I am a bad, bad person.

I thought I’m so bad I shouldn’t live, but then that’d make me worse because then I’d be missed even more. It’s a catch 22 because I’m too bad to be here, but I can’t banish the evil because that’d make things worse. And I don’t want to do worse, but everything is bad. The people who don’t want to work with me, the reason why I need to be shouted at, they all are right. I am bad. But the badness won’t go away, how will it go away?

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. April 12, 2011 9:49 am

    😦 I’m sorry that things are bad at the moment. Has anything happened to trigger this? I’m sure you are not evil – in fact you’re very lovely, so what has brought this all back? 😦

    Really hope things improve for you. When are you next coming home? xx

    • April 12, 2011 8:19 pm

      I’m in the process of writing what could be an explanation.

      I’m back over easter. Thanks xx

  2. April 12, 2011 11:58 am

    Unless you’ve taken up eating babies, you are not evil. In fact, as ItS says, you’re very lovely.

    No-one should shout at you at work. It says more about them than it does about you.

    ((BIG HUGS)) from me & Mr Woo xx

    • April 12, 2011 8:20 pm

      No baby eating, but still evil. Work isn’t hoping, I suppose!

      Thankye for the hugs, I return them! xx

  3. May 9, 2011 5:10 pm

    I know this is an older post, but it caught my eye. Oh Love. I could’ve written this myself, and when you see someone thinking the same things, it changes so much. You are not evil. But I think I understand how it is to want to scrub away the badness. xx

    • May 9, 2011 8:12 pm

      I think though, the comments still stand, so don’t worry about commenting on an old post! I don’t know what else to say, I’m afraid, apart from thanks for the comment. Just an overwhelming sense of agreement with it all! x

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