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And it’s all in my head

March 2, 2011

Shaking. On the verge of tears. Images of people hanging and cutting themselves going around my head.
I’m not sure I can do this, and I mean it. I want to run away and hide, I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m losing it.
But I think I am.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. March 2, 2011 10:17 pm


  2. Clarissa permalink
    March 3, 2011 8:27 am

    Dear Kate,

    Please ask for help from your mht – I used to get these images when depressed and in the kitchen at home. I simply coildn’t be around knives without these hideous images in my head. Then they started wherever I was – no stimulus needed. Its just neurons firing off in the wrong way in the wrong place ultimately, but this led me to suicide because it was too scarey, and I thought they were real. I had to learn to ignore them in the end as I got better, and it helped that I was quite strongly sedated a lot then.

    Please don’t wait any longer. Ask for help, and while things are sorting out, try to remember that these thought and images are not real. And they never persist indefinitely. But, you must share them with professionals who can help you through this horrid time.

    Big hugs,

    C x

    • March 4, 2011 9:49 pm


      I don’t know how to ask for help, I don’t know what happens over here, and that for me is also one of the scary things. It’s like back at the beginning when I didn’t know what was what. And I don’t know exactly what my insurance covers me for, and what it doesn’t… so I might not even be entitled to help over here.


  3. March 3, 2011 7:40 pm

    I’m sorry that things are so difficult at the moment and I really hope that it passes soon. Those images are scary though; you sound stressed and frightened and yes, like you are in need of some support. I don’t know how it work with you being abroad at the moment, but please, if there’s support available, please think about accessing it. Big hugs and tea to you xx

    • March 4, 2011 9:47 pm

      I hope things get better soon, too.

      I don’t know how it works, and it has recently dawned on me that I may not have the insurance for seeing a psychiatrist here, although I’m not sure what counts and what and what I’m entitled to with my uni insurance and EHIC. It all seems really complicated. x

  4. Butterflywings permalink
    March 4, 2011 2:20 am

    I’m sorry you feel so crappy.

  5. Ms Leftie permalink
    March 7, 2011 4:43 pm


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