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I am disgusting

February 26, 2011

I’m writing this in the hope that it will push me into realisation that something needs to change.

I have an unhealthy relationship with my bed. I love sleeping. And it’s warm. But the amount of time it takes me to get up is ridiculous, along with the amount of motivation required as well. This morning I coaxed myself out of bed with the promise of a Esprit and H&M trip. The only condition was that I had to cycle there (which isn’t too far, I think it takes maybe 15 minutes, max). Which was enough to put me back in bed. I had to cycle in order to get some exercise, otherwise I wouldn’t ever raise my heartbeat or anything like that. I need to exercise more, I know that. I like exercising deep down, but feelings-wise, starting is so difficult.

This is the crunch point: I don’t feel like I have the energy to do things, this exemplified by after having been around the shops, I was planning to get the bus home. Instead I saw a friend and he was like ‘but you have your bike, cycle home’ (which I did end up doing). I need to stop this animosity towards getting up and moving, and stop downing the calories. This year, I said I wanted to control my weight by exercise, not by eating (as in eating too little to keep the weight down). I’m looking forward to going back to uni because then I can do all these sports again, but now, I feel a little… lost. Sports facilities here are far too expensive for me to afford.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 26, 2011 9:52 pm

    I have an unhealthy love affair with my bed too! It is just so warm and comfy and whenever i try to leave it it lures me back in! Bad bed! But seriously it is very hard to get that motivation but well done for cycling there and back to town! Espirit + H&M =<3!!!

  2. Ms Leftie permalink
    February 27, 2011 8:14 am

    I think I could have wrote this post… 😉

  3. February 27, 2011 3:56 pm

    I don’t think this makes you disgusting, I think it makes you human, and perhaps a human is currently a bit depressed? None of us do everything we wished health wise (or at least no-one I know does). Try not to beat yourself up too much about it, as that’ll just leave you feeling even worse.

    Motivation is a tricky area, I hope you find a solution that works for you.

    Take care,

  4. March 20, 2011 10:40 am

    That’s not even close to disgusting, when you’ve been on a 3-day food-coma-athon without washing, that’s disgusting

    Found a solution that works for me, I trick myself. Get my gym bag then go out for a walk, but promise myself I won’t actually go to the gym, walk past the gym, then go in to see if anyone attractive is there, but promise myself I won’t work out, go to the changing room, as I’m here I may as well try on my gym clothes, but definitely won’t start working out. Take a little stroll in the gym, maybe I’ll just try that one machine…

  5. March 20, 2011 3:00 pm

    Just realised I wrote a bit of a shitty comment above, wasn’t trying to one-up you/compete on being disgusting

    • March 20, 2011 6:06 pm

      Don’t worry, I know it wasn’t meant like that!

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