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Longing

October 6, 2010

I want to walk the streets I know. From my messy ex-flat, through the dodgy industrial estate, across Constitution Hill to the pretty square with trees and a church. Stride through the many small streets, until I reach the big road. Then up the big road with the hill into a dodgy area; keeping walking until I reach my goal: the CMHT.

I don’t know why this route appeals to me so much, maybe the nice square, maybe because the area was so different to where I’ve lived before.

In Final Year, I’ll most likely not be living in these halls again, which is a shame. I’ll be living in a house on the other side of town. I’ll probably not be a patient of the CMHT again. I’ll probably never walk through that pretty square so frequently, and the likelihood of ever going there again is slim. The area was dodgy, but I warmed to it. The climbing centre was just down the road.

It’s almost like a chapter of my life has been closed, that maybe I wasn’t yet ready for. I’m not particularly missing the input from a psychiatrist or psychologist; in fact when the doctor tried to refer me to one on Monday I was very much against it. It was a part of my life, part of the routine, part of what being at Uni meant for me.

I guess it’s pretty much memories flowing back, not helped by everyone I know going back to uni. In the end, there are things you didn’t see at the time; good things. And this street/square was one of them.

Memories of places, of people that are far away from me don’t help things – sometimes you just want to be with people you know best.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. October 7, 2010 9:06 pm

    *hug*

    How did the appointment go on Monday? Did you get the meds you needed?

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