I’m not mood disordered, I’m energy disordered… maybe

If I think about thism it’s rather strange how until I drank some coffee (=caffeine) I was feeling a bit low. But then the caffeine kicked in and everything was fine again. I suppose there are some potential explanations; this is the idea of caffeine, it gives you a boost, it’s a coincidence, or… okay I don’t know. The former hit me when I started writing, so therefore the first part of this post was pointless. Then again, the rest of this post may be pointless, but it hasn’t been written yet so I can’t say.

I got my results for second year today, overall average of 54, although the second semester ones were a lot better, they had to be brought down by the atrocity of first term’s! 4 2:1s, 3 2:2s and 2 thirds. the 2:2s and thirds mostly coming from first semester. Not entirely promising but hopefully I can write a good essay this year and do well infinal year and hopefully end up with a 2:1. I’m hoping my essay writing skills are improving, I got higher marks this time around than before. That or I was more interested in writing the essay because the topic had something to write about and was actually interesting. I’m still contemplating the situation for final year – yes there’s still time for things to improve, but I’m wondering whether I should let them know more formally of any difficulties I have. My degree grades are getting more and more important, so I need to be able to do well. For this year, I need to think of a topic; I’d love to do something around Linguistics or the DDR and then achieve more that 60%. Vis a vis the average, it’s less than last year but I have some ideas about how I can hopefully not make the same mistakes again next time.

Things aren’t entirely spiffing, though. I’m still drooping at the seams. And I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because I feel so alone, as I’ve not completely bonded with the other interns and apart from that I know nobody.