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I’m not mood disordered, I’m energy disordered… maybe

July 17, 2010

If I think about thism it’s rather strange how until I drank some coffee (=caffeine) I was feeling a bit low. But then the caffeine kicked in and everything was fine again. I suppose there are some potential explanations; this is the idea of caffeine, it gives you a boost, it’s a coincidence, or… okay I don’t know. The former hit me when I started writing, so therefore the first part of this post was pointless. Then again, the rest of this post may be pointless, but it hasn’t been written yet so I can’t say.

I got my results for second year today, overall average of 54, although the second semester ones were a lot better, they had to be brought down by the atrocity of first term’s! 4 2:1s, 3 2:2s and 2 thirds. the 2:2s and thirds mostly coming from first semester. Not entirely promising but hopefully I can write a good essay this year and do well infinal year and hopefully end up with a 2:1. I’m hoping my essay writing skills are improving, I got higher marks this time around than before. That or I was more interested in writing the essay because the topic had something to write about and was actually interesting. I’m still contemplating the situation for final year – yes there’s still time for things to improve, but I’m wondering whether I should let them know more formally of any difficulties I have. My degree grades are getting more and more important, so I need to be able to do well. For this year, I need to think of a topic; I’d love to do something around Linguistics or the DDR and then achieve more that 60%. Vis a vis the average, it’s less than last year but I have some ideas about how I can hopefully not make the same mistakes again next time.

Things aren’t entirely spiffing, though. I’m still drooping at the seams. And I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because I feel so alone, as I’ve not completely bonded with the other interns and apart from that I know nobody.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 18, 2010 3:04 pm

    Yes tell the uni – there should be a disability service of some description to go through (you’ll just need to provide evidence in the form of a doctor’s letter).

    I was really unsure before I was registered for me but it definitely helped provide a “safety net” as far as grades were concerned – made applying for a needed extension much easier (in the past it was more effort than handing in a crappy essay I’d written the night before…). Also was provided with equipment so I could work more efficiently at home rather than motivate myself to library; and gave me a study coach (this is in my opinion the most useful thing – she was very good at inspiring me into do “some” work even when I didn’t feel like it, as well as helping me to organise my time and come up with realistic short-term goals so I felt like I was “getting somewhere” and didn’t need to beat myself up for being crap all the time)…

    And if it turns out that you have a brilliant third year and don’t require the services then you’ve lost nothing – but at least you’ll know they’re there if you do, which may actually help just by relieving some of the stress.

    Take care,

    PS sorry if I sound bossy, or like an infomercial, it’s just I remember how reticent I was and I don’t regret registering one bit.

    • July 18, 2010 8:25 pm

      Hi, don’t worry!
      I’m just a bit worried that because now I’m out of the country, getting access and notes could potentially be a bit more difficult, as they’d have to give them me somehow to send on… and I can’t really get them sent home, if that makes sense. I’m going to talk to the placement team and probably my year abroad tutor, see what they have to say. I just don’t want to make a big deal out of it, then it all go swimmingly… Ach, just knowing I have to do it fills me with dread!

  2. July 19, 2010 3:04 pm

    I think you should register with uni too. I have said so many times and will repeat until you do :p The service is there for a reason and their support can help. Your final year of your degree is too important to take risks with. You want everything in your favour to help you get that 2.1.

    I’m glad the second semester results were an improvement and I hope you can keep it up over the placement year and final year.

    take care xx

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