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When all that’s meant to shine doesn’t

March 16, 2010

I’m in a position I’ve waited long enough to be in: I have a placement. 12 months in Germany starting in July. My uni is one of the few that advocate work placements over uni or teaching assisstantships. So it’s all meant to be good.
Except it doesn’t feel so good. So many difficult questions to answer, things to organise: a parent always comes up with so many questions when all you want is for them to disappear as you’re hoping you made the right decision… In therapy, we’re talking about this and coming up with a wee action plan. I’m hoping the changeover will be smoother this time than in the first year of uni, but the question of to remain citalopram’d up has reared its head: stay on it and have to try and find a doctor to prescribe it to me, or, come off it; two equally scary prospects! In a way I’m hooked, and I don’t know if it is working – I still have bad days… But would it have been like this anyway? I really don’t know, and the questions just make me feel bad. I have to see yet another doctor tomorrow for happy pills; another explanation and sad, pitying looks. It all makes it worse, really.
So anyway, I have a book here in front of me about living and working in Germany, I’m hoping it’ll provide me with some answers to the healthcare system over there! Having briefly flicked through, I don’t hold much hope – it looks dreadfully basic and seems to be advocating learning German before you go, really?!
Aside from all this placement business, things are ticking over. Uni work as always and I’m looking forward to the holidays! It’s also my big walk at the weekend, all 40 miles of it! Half excited, half nervous, I’m hoping the sun will stay out for the weekend as it’d make a hell of a difference!
So, there’s a comprehensive update (ish) from the land of Kate!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 18, 2010 6:58 pm

    I’m really glad you got a placement.

    I guess you’ve got the EHIC card, so that should mean treatment is free when you are over there, but if you are going to be there are a while you may have to sort out insurance instead. I think that would cover your meds as well as seeing a doc.

    You may be able to have your drugs on repeat at home and get your parents (do they still not know you are on ADs) or a friend to send them over to you instead? I don’t think there are any restrictions on posting them as long as your name on the package matches your name on the labels.

    I guess you will have to see and talk to your docs and see what they think is best. xx

  2. March 18, 2010 7:25 pm

    No, they still don’t know. And they’re only allowed 2 months at a time so it wouldn’t be possible that way!
    I’m planning on asking the placements team about healthcare and stuff, bite my lip and hope nothing bad comes from it!

  3. Hannah permalink
    March 19, 2010 12:21 am

    Hey, congratulations on the placement! It’s really good that you got one. But I get all the problems with it as well and I think it’s really brave that you’re going for this, I don’t think I’d be able to. What does your therapist think about the medication issue? It’s always hard to know what you’d be like if you weren’t on the medication you are, it’s a big mind melt really. The safer option is probably staying on the medication, surely you should be able to find someone to prescribe it for you easily enough?

    So are you going to have to learn German then? I don’t like that option! But it would be pretty cool to be able to speak another language. Is there anyone at your uni who has already gone on such a placement that you could maybe ask about the whole situation?
    But focusing on the positive, seriously well done about getting the placement! x

    • March 19, 2010 9:06 am

      In a way I have to, going abroad is unavoidable, so it was just a choice of where exactly to go! It was basically a Uni or work placement. I’m going to ask the placements team about the healthcare system in Germany, and hopefully that’ll shed some light on the issue!

      As for learning German, I already am… My degree is French and German! x

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