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The End Is Nigh

November 24, 2009

I think it’s a week or two I have left in counselling… I’m not sure whether the two included the one I just had or not.

We got talking about it all, and she asked me whether I felt I had a better relationship with anyone, in a ‘non-professional’ kind of situation. The answer is not really, I choose to keep things to myself most of the time because I don’t like upsetting people. Of course, they’re not upset, per se, or at least with me. They’re upset because of the emotion involved. So this is why I like the people that don’t burst into tears or leap onto me to give me a hug, the so- called ‘professionals’; counsellors, therapists. It helps me work through things more objectively because a) they’re not a part of my every day life and b) there isn’t the same amount of emotion involved: I can tell my side of the story and not feel guilty for having done so. My girlfriend knows quite a lot of things… and I’m okay with that providing she doesn’t have to know the here and now; she knows the past but I can pretend the present is fairly good… and that’s what I like. Non- intrusive people.

It’ll be weird to finish. It’s been practically a year since I started going. It’s become part of my schedule; tuesday nights are written off for anything social. I’ll be able to go to aquafit without having to do mad dashes, have time to do work…. but it’s still so weird. I think I’ll miss her. It’s like, in a way, having someone you see regularly… then all of a sudden they’re out of your life. It also happened to me recently. Someone I saw a lot of, that suddenly stopped communicating with me, for no reason I know of. This, I accept, is different, but it’s similar on so many levels because you get used to seeing, talking to that person. We’ve formed a relationship, and I feel comfortable talking about things to her.

I’ll miss it, hopefully not for long, and I hope to get on with my life… We’ll see.

D-Day tomorrow. Meh.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. November 24, 2009 9:43 pm

    *hugs*

    I know how you feel. I felt exactly the same about leaving Dr G and The Priory.

    Is the person that stopped communicating the person I suspect it might be? 😦

    Take care hun xx

  2. November 25, 2009 1:51 pm

    I was once told that finishing therapy is part of the therapy, and since ending with my psychotherapist, I really believe that’s true. Hopefully you’ll gain something from the ending, however weird that sounds.

    -squish- good luck x

    • November 25, 2009 2:42 pm

      Thanks, Megan (I never knew that was your name!) I’ll see what happens! xx

  3. findingmecrazy permalink
    November 25, 2009 8:06 pm

    Hey!
    Sorry I haven’t been around lately, just been dealing with stuff which is a pathetic excuse!
    I remember when i thought my therapy was going to end I freaked out. I thought that because therapy was ending that that was supposed to imply that I was totally better and didn’t need it anymore, thankfully for me when I told my therapist all my fears he said therapy wouldn’t end until we were both a lot happier about my condition – which is bad in a way cos it sort of implies he thinks I need it which makes me feel I’m crazy!
    Anyway, sorry for the diversion there, I agree with it being easier to talk to professionals who don’t bring emotion into it really. I guess you just need to remember all the stuff you were taught in therapy that can help you deal with things – and there’s always us lovely people in the blogosphere! xx

    • November 25, 2009 8:27 pm

      Hey,
      don’t worry about it! I’m hardly a model blogger either!
      That’s true what you say about it not meaning that you’re completely better, and I think hearing that is, in a way, slightly reassuring because well, it’s true: in a way it’s only the starting point… you learn stuff, then it’s the putting it into practice which is the key really.

      And yep, the lovely blogosphere- you guys are amazing!
      xx

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