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Dilemma

November 17, 2009

I’m going to the hospital a week tomorrow, and am stopping the citalopram ahead of this. Am I being fecking stupid?

I want to because my mum’s coming along and I’m anticipating medication related questions, and seeing as she doesn’t know it could get sticky. However, I’m worried things will all go wrong.

My mood’s also been quite uppy, which is a reason for my reduction to 20mg temporarily, but I’m wondering whether I should just come off. I want to speak to my doctor about this, but feel so unwilling to go; I don’t want to be seen as attention seeking because everything’s meant to be okay, but it really isn’t. I’m sitting in a bus shelter crying at the moment, I feel like I’m losing grip on the whole world. It’s all too colourful and overwhelming and unstoppable, everything keeps flying by. Then there are lulls. Lulls that knock everything out of me. This is my realisation that there’s nothing wrong and I should stop trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. I feel trapped in a dilemma, where all the questions are too big to be answered… I’m just feeling like a city dwelling ant: about to be stamped on.

The medics ruled out it being something serious, but what will the hospital find?

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 17, 2009 8:09 pm

    I wouldn’t stop taking medication just to prevent your mum finding out. Yes the hospital will ask, but they won’t go into the whys and wherefores of medication, just the name and dose, so you could always let her assume it is for some physical ailment. If you really don’t want your mum to know you even take medication; there are ways around it – you could always write it down and the note to the doctor/nurse or ask to talk about it without your mum around; or ask your doctor to write to inform them.

    Having said that it does sound like you need to talk to your doctor about what it is doing to you. It sounds like you are having a similar reaction to it as I (and many others) have to SSRIs. Telling your doctor isn’t attention seeking, it’s letting him know what is going on for you.

    Whatever you decide, I hope it is the right decision for you.

    Take care and good luck for the hospital appointment,
    Differently

    • November 17, 2009 10:47 pm

      I was thinking of writing it down, and handing it to him/her, because i’m using something topical with a long name i can’t pronounce, which would be a perfect opportunity…

      I’m still not sure about the doctors… blahh! It kinda feels attention seeking, although I know I should really go!

  2. November 17, 2009 8:55 pm

    I don’t think it’s a good idea to just stop the meds. Withdrawals can be horrible and could affect the results of the appointment. Plus sometimes they may ask if you’ve been on any meds lately, in which case you’d still have to tell them.

    Differently is right. It would be easier to tell them another way. Ask your GP to fax through your meds details or hand them a note – if your mum asks what it says just tell her it’s a form. You may just have to fill in a form anyway, in which case she won’t hear.

    I do think you need to speak to your doctor about the meds. Before you were saying you wanted to stay on the citalopram, but I’m not sure it’s doing you all that good. Then again coming off could send things all out of balance too, so may be worse.

    Take care and good luck for the hospital. xx

    • November 17, 2009 10:49 pm

      Like I said to differently, I’m not sure about seeing the doctor, although I probably should. I’m better than before, yes, but I guess I’m scared of going on a new one and things going bad again… even though really sometimes things aren’t that great with citalopram. I guess I don’t want to go on some of these other ‘nastier’ ones. I’d have to speak to the psychiatrist too :s

      Thanks x

  3. November 17, 2009 10:38 pm

    What DS and ITS: you have to be honest, otherwise there’s no point. You could always ask your mum to stay in the waiting room?

    Good luck xx

    • November 17, 2009 10:50 pm

      It’d seem a bit mean to do that when she’s driven all the way from Manchester!

      Thanks, xx

  4. findingmecrazy permalink
    November 17, 2009 11:44 pm

    Go to the doctors, cos it sounds like you need to and don’t think you’re being an attention seeker by going because you’re clearly upset at the moment so that means you deserve to have a doctor listen to you. Is my logic any good here??
    Anyway, good luck with the appointment and I think it’s nice your mum is going with you, it’s supportive at least, and yes writing down about your medication on a note sounds good!xx

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