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A brief encounter

November 13, 2009

My personal tutor also lectures me for one of my modules and today, I was exceptionally early, as I needed to speak to another friend who is normally very early too. Except she wasn’t there yet, which left me and the lecturer, and questions pertaining to how I was getting on; after all I did tell him about things last year. He asked about whether I felt that my academic potential was being affected- of course it is. He commented on the fact that I was doing well in coming to lecturers and my ‘good’ grades last year, but he doesn’t understand. At all. I hate how I’m affected. How a simple piece of work can cause so many problems; how working hard enough can drain me so much I have to rest the next few days. He just doesn’t understand- I may not resemble on appearance what I’m feeling, but that doesn’t stop what’s happening inside… What am I even meant to say in situations like that?! Brush it off or be truthful? I’ve never been so glad to see another lecturer come in the room…

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. November 13, 2009 9:27 pm

    The Counsellor/Irritator/Truant Lady at high school used to follow me round and ask how I was as soon as I had a huge crowd of people around me so all I could say was “yeah I’m fine”. Wasn’t like I was about to pour out the fact that I’d shredded my arm or anything was it lol. Silly mare. Sod them x

    • November 14, 2009 1:41 pm

      The Irritator, love it!
      I’ll just be late to the lecture in the future! x

  2. findingmecrazy permalink
    November 13, 2009 11:59 pm

    I never know what to say when my university lecturers ask how things are and what is going with me. I totally get what you’re saying. According to other people, including my parents, I seem totally together and seem to have no problems with my work – but that is far away from the reality. I guess at least they’re asking? Better than ignoring the situation all together.

    How are you doing with uni work at the moment? Is it going ok?x

    • November 14, 2009 1:44 pm

      They never seem to get it… it’s like your work is good so there’s nothing wrong with you… but they don’t realise how much effort it’s taken to get to the lecture and to do the flippin’ work! It’s nice they ask, but in a way unwelcome. My uni is lovely and friendly though- everyone knows everyone in the department!

      Uni work… blurgh! Sort of on top of it, a few big things in for this week but not too awful! x

  3. November 15, 2009 1:38 am

    Was the question accompanied by the whole ‘kicked puppy look’ perchance?

    I guess a big part of why they don’t get how difficult it is, is because they don’t really want to think it gets that bad. Denial of problems makes problems not exist – and that is a lot easier when they aren’t your problems to deal with.

    Kinda reminds me of a meeting I had with my tutor last year, I was walking down the corridor one way, and she was walking down the other. I actually swerved to ignore her and she still managed to block my path and ask me how I was.

    Arriving late sounds like a good solution. Still findingmecrazy has a point that at least he asked.

    Take care,
    Differently

    • November 15, 2009 11:30 am

      Well, kinda… a silence where I kinda stepped away and went ‘err’.

      Yeah, perhaps they don’t want to openly admit that they think what’s going on is bad, because then that might be pandering to what I’m saying…

      True, I guess it is nice that he asked, saves me wondering when he would ask…

      xx

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