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The Age Of Innocence

September 6, 2009

2006

2009

I hate the changes, I hate the new me, I hate what I’ve become. Then, at least I looked happy, now my face is always set to miserable and to activate the muscles is too much; in all photos I don’t look happy, I might be smiling but the rest of my face doesn’t show that way.

I was innocent then, innocent to so many things: to the world of work, to how bad things could be, to living and surviving alone. I hadn’t been near anyone medical in 8 years, and now I’m there at the most monthly, sometimes daily when things are bad. I was innocent to so many things.

The 2006 photo was the first trip away from Manchester for the day with my best friend, we went to Chester and generally had a good time… such simple pleasures pleased us back then; now, now, now it’s not so simple: there’s relationships in the way, different times, cities and money all blocking the way to such simple amusement.

I miss the easy days, I miss my old self. I miss my half way to this point hair, too. It was bright red… I’d love it to be red again.

(I want to stop dying my hair, but I sense a relent on this rule soon….)

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. September 7, 2009 2:25 pm

    I guess we all grow up. We have to accept that and learn to live with our older selves. xx

    • September 8, 2009 8:11 pm

      Bah, who wants to do that? Uck, I guess I’ll have to…

  2. September 8, 2009 1:16 am

    I love the shaggy, wavy mop of gutsy red hair too. You have no idea how long I have been postponing an inevitable trip to the hairdressers.
    p.s have been a non-commenter in general for a month or more, but I miss it a little now xx

    • September 8, 2009 8:23 pm

      I’ve missed you around, I think I assumed you’d gone on holiday or something, as everyone else has gone quiet too!

      My hair is normally shaggy and wavy but sadly not a gutsy red 😦 more a roots showing dodgy blonde at the mo! x

  3. September 11, 2009 6:35 pm

    You look just like a girl I know. It’s freaking me out :b
    Also, I’m inspired. Red hair dye will be bought tomorrow, although I’m totally considering just going cotton candy pink and refusing to grow up. Hmmm. I’m not really into embracing my older self either.

    Am totally jealous you went on oblivion! I need a trip to alton towers, closest to me is thorpe park but slammer is always closed and that’s my favourite! 😦

    Take care xx

    • September 11, 2009 8:13 pm

      Err, does that mean I know you then?! I think red is a good choice, at the mo mine’s blondy and I hate it, but that’s my two penneth πŸ˜‰

      And Alton Towers isn’t too bad to get to if you have a car, or like sitting on a bus for agesss from the nearest station (that was our problem! an hour away from Stoke and overcrowded bus 😦 ) Oblivion was cool, though πŸ˜‰ xx

  4. September 13, 2009 2:28 pm

    Haha don’t worry, you don’t know me, you just look remarkably like a girl that I do know! I would LOVE to be blonde, but my hair just wouldn’t be able to take it, the last time I tried home bleaching parts it started to fall out :S

    And sadly I don’t have a car, but I’m trying to round up some friends to stay overnight in the hotel there, that way the long journey would be worth it!
    xx

    • September 13, 2009 7:00 pm

      Eep, hair falling out ftl 😦 seems I’ve been lucky then!

      And the hotel sounds good, then you can go 2 days in a row… not sure if anyone could be interested for that amount of time, but I suppose it’d be a good antidote for the wet clothes situation after the water rides! x

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