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Comfort Seeking Fiend

September 4, 2009
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So, I guess all this comes down to is seeking comfort. Seeking comfort in something that can provide me with comfort, as at the moment nothing else does. I can get comfy in my thinner, slimmer body and take comfort in the pain. The only thing that seems to make me feel good; gee I sound emo don’t I?!

What could I find comfort in? Seeing friends, reading, sleeping, playing games, talking to people, travelling; anything, just the pleasure and comfort isn’t there. Even just lying in bed is a drag, then I start doing something and it completely throws me. My energy’s gone to pot, although it’s probably because I’m not eating enough.

I’m comfortable, and you know how it is when you’re in a really comfy chair and to sleepy to move? My mindset is like that. I *know* deep down I need to change, change from this routine to the healthy, eating properly routine. I can do as I learnt in therapy: set meal times and just eat *something* then work up,   work up to what I should but don’t want to do.

I could set my goal at trying because otherwise I’ll have to go shopping, and I HATE shopping. I can’t stand it: all the clothes I like but don’t look right on me or plain wrong size. I don’t think I was made to be female: make up, shopping, boyfriends; none appeal.

And now I’m going to crawl under my duvet because my joints hurt as it’s too cold- I’m not an old lady really!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 6, 2009 10:42 am

    *Hugs*

    It’s easy to get comfortable in situations that aren’t good for us. Trying sounds like a good idea at least.

    I know how you feel about not being made to be female – I have to go shopping for a dress for my cousins wedding and I’m dreading it! The only girly thing I do is put on eyeliner, but I’d totally do that if I was a guy too 😛

    Take care xx

    • September 6, 2009 6:21 pm

      Good luck with the dress shopping, sounds like torture! x

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