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A wish

September 1, 2009
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I have a wish, a wish I’d like to fulfil. I’d like to lose myself in the music. Lose my conscious stream to the colourful world of alcohol and have a great time, to relive past times and to relive sziget. To let myself go. Just, I can’t. There’s no-one around I can go with to my favourite clubs and bars that think the same way as I do: we go out, have a laugh but leave at a time people may consider early but suits us fine, after all at sziget we normally went to bed around 1!
This drunken thing, it’s happened before, could even be referred to as a coping method. What’s stopping me? The fact that everyone I know goes to the same places, likes similar music; the joys of middle class suburbia and I’m scared of the fallout, of being spotted not just on my own but also whilst having a good time, I don’t like people saying they saw me last night, or that I looked totally into it, I can’t let myself go that much. I don’t like being talked about; positive or negative doesn’t matter, I hate it all. But my underlying wish is still there: to lose myself in the music.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 2, 2009 1:46 pm

    That’s the letting go part!

  2. September 2, 2009 6:44 pm

    Letting go *mutters under breath*

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