Skip to content

A decision isn’t always right

August 27, 2009

Like the one I made 8 and a bit years ago. I got some girls in my year done for bullying; at the time my parents, teachers and pastoral leader thought it was the right decision. But it wasn’t. The bullying got worse, more people joined in and I didn’t tell a soul. It wasn’t the right decision, I lost friends through it.

Tonight, I’m spending my time thinking about this decision: would one simple action of not telling people have saved me from the hassle I ultimately got, the reclusive lifestyle I lived, the image I gave out? Would everything be different? Would all of this have been avoided?

You can’t blame yourself for ‘what if’s but you can blame yourself for your actions, and the trigger action was started by me, by my coming home from school in torrential floods of tears for my mum to ask me what was wrong. If I could have held it together, maybe everything would be different?

I cried a lot in those days, where have the tears I yearn for so much gone? Do we all have quotas and I used them all up by crying all night for nights at a time, years and years ago?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. findingmecrazy permalink
    August 30, 2009 12:10 am

    Hi. You can’t blame yourself for your actions, you can’t blame yourself for crying about it. You did what anybody would do and you can’t know that the bullying wouldn’t have got worse anyway. I’m sorry you were bullied though and that you lost friends by simply trying to get it sorted out, but you shouldn’t blame yourself x

  2. August 30, 2009 4:49 am

    Tears rarely come when you need them and when they do it a tsunami that engulfs everything around it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: