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The positives of going back to uni

August 26, 2009

So, I saw my therapist this morning. I wasn’t really feeling at my best, as such I don’t think I used the session as well as I could have. See, I don’t *actually* know why I’m feeling down, I can make up reasons, say that maybe I’ve just worked too hard and that I’ll be okay. But it seems pointless to do that when I really haven’t a clue. She can suggest things, but how can I defend myself; maybe she is right?

I voiced my feelings of homesickness, even though I’ve not actually left yet. So we talked about that, at length. She said that I shouldn’t be setting myself up for disappointment as such, but that I should have an open mind. And that’s great but I really don’t think I am doing that, I just didn’t have the energy to argue. In fact, the session made me feel worse because of all this… However, I have received a letter from Psychology at the CMHT to indicate when I would be free for an assessment, if I still want their services; hopefully that means soon I should have an assessment! (I just need to get the motivation to send the form back :|) Sooner done, sooner I get hopefully.

Later on, I saw my doctor and she asked me what I was looking forward to in returning to Birmingham… I said nothing. But it did get me thinking… so what am I looking forward to? Swimming more often again, rock climbing, seeing people again and getting back into the work- yes I am a geek! I still have some petty worries, but I don’t think they’re anything to shout out about.

The therapy session in a way just felt like a waste: she asked me at the end if there was anything else I wanted to say, and I said nothing but the whole session it’d been her leading and her pointing the discussion (which in a way was good, as I wasn’t really feeling talkative) but I think the way it went wasn’t so good, after all I lied about my eating and my mood, so she didn’t really have much to go off. Lovely doc’s session went a lot better though, she said that I seem a lot more relaxed around her (and I guess I am, the changeover’s horrible, as is being the bearer of bad news!). Plus, she knows that me saying that I’m okay is a sign to prod more. She also did her spiel of would you phone the Crisis Team or Samaritans if things were bad, she’s really intrigued as to what they say, but doesn’t want to phone them herself to find out in case someone else needs them. I have no intention of finding out, sadly.

So that’s that, a wonderful 3 appointments at my doctors’ in one day, I want a frequent flyer card (third was to extradite  blood from my arm to check my liver and one she’s doing just because (with an evil laugh) she wants to see what my white blood cells are doing… yum!)

3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 27, 2009 9:33 am

    That’s good news from the CMHT psych team. I hope you get assessed soon too.

    Don’t worry if you felt the therapy session was a waste. It’s usual to have the odd session where you feel it wasn’t so great. I guess it may prompt you into being a bit more open next time as you feel you didn’t get anywhere by lying?

    Glad the doc is nice too.


    • August 27, 2009 12:42 pm

      Well I’m about to send the letter, so hopefully they’ll get in contact soon!

      Re therapy, I guess lying was part of the problem, as was being out of practice and nothaving thought through before what she might ask!

      • August 27, 2009 8:03 pm

        Well done on sorting out the letter. I know how hard “simple” tasks like that can be sometimes.

        I know what you mean about thinking things through beforehand. Although I often found out that was all I could do before and it made me so anxious. I hope your next appointment goes well xx

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