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All Aboard

July 15, 2009
tags: ,

All aboard the choo choo train, pulsing through my veins

All aboard the riverboat, the one that goes to the edge

All aboard my thoughts, my feelings

All aboard the suicide train

There’s something coarsing through my brain, my head, my feeling. The ‘do it, do it’ feeling. The irresistible urge. The can’t stop got a date with, well, to put it bluntly, death. Just this overriding feeling, that seeps and infiltrates my every move, my every bone, my every thought. Dodgy thoughts floating around, what if’s and ‘that’d be perfect’. Suicide is harder than it looks, I know, but that doesn’t stop my brain from constantly wandering around the topic, of constantly thinking and planning. The mind can be cunning, it can even enter your dreams. Eyes open or shut, day or night, it’s there.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 15, 2009 3:30 pm

    *hugs*

    I know what it is like. It’s all I’ve had for the past year. I’d like to say it will pass and things will improve, but I am never so sure.

    Take care of yourself and stay safe. xx

  2. July 15, 2009 5:21 pm

    Thanks, L. I’ve got out and about this afternoon and am feeling a little better. xx

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