Impulsivity

Snip snap, quick decisions quickly made. Listen to your head, you silly girl. No, don’t do that; do this instead.

My head’s being really loud and controlling. Having lots of urges and obsessions and things I can’t let go, I just have to do. Just the thing is, that it involves my accidentally large stockpile of paracetamol, which I’ve somehow managed to accumulate over the year. My head keeps going ‘do it’ and such like… I still have enough control to not do it, but it’s really getting me down. However, my impulsivity is beginning to worry me, to the extent that all this paracetamol will be shipped off to the doctors with me tomorrow for them to dispose of, since I feel that if I dump it in a bin, I can still fish it out (yes, gross I know but hey ho) but if they have it, then it’s gone forever…. What will the doc say? Don’t want to consider than far yet, I just have to try and stave all this off for the time being. I don’t think there’s a solution, it’s just a whole lot of waiting, patience and distraction. I distracted myself by walking 6 miles down the canal to Cadbury World. Not entirely sure why I went that far, but my head calmed down after I passed Birmingham Uni, and I just thought why not keep going… so I got to Bourneville and it was so peaceful, seriously. I wanted to stay forever, it’s so far from the city, so quiet and stuff. There was even a green where people play cricket, which back’s onto Cadbury’s… So yeah, I liked it there. I feel that I perhaps left prematurely, I had enough jumpers (and chocolate!- couldn’t resist a sneaky trip into the shop; the actual exhibit thing was a tenner to get into, so I didn’t go in…) but something made me come back to the city. It was a mistake, my peace shattered. And now I’m stuck in the rut, again.

I took some photos this afternoon:

And finally, some other photos I took last weekend at Etherow park…