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“You’re looking well”

April 30, 2009
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“You’re looking well”- The ultimate insult? It somewhat defeats me because I’m not particularly feeling better! In terms of how I was feeling last time I saw her, then yes, things are a bit better but to hear that I was looking well was somewhat of an upset/annoyance and seemed, in a way, to discredit my feelings. It was probably meant to be a harmless throwaway comment, but in a way it doesn’t feel that way. Because I’m overreacting.

Today we discussed the last 6 weeks and then we discussed my eating, seeing as she thinks that it’s a major player in my mood. I’ve got to devise an eating plan with times for breakfast, lunch and dinner to try and sort this out, and to make sure that I actually eat, which, at the moment, is a slight issue: I’m not hungry, so I don’t eat etc. Works fine for me, but it affects my energy levels it means I don’t do anything, so there’s nothing to stimulate my mood. This seems a lot of work, and may require a lot of work, which really, is what I should be up for; I did decide to persue this. I think I’ll have to timetable what I’m going to eat and when, as like in the past. It’s for the best, but somewhat ironically, I don’t have the energy…

I have 2 weeks to try this out and stuff. I see her in 2 weeks, the Psychiatrist next week, my new doctor on friday and the ED:IT team at somepoint later in May. I think my counsellor was right when she said that I’m firmly in the system and that I have too many appointments, which seems to be the reason why I’m so self- aware- with so many appointments I have to be!

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