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“I ache for who we were”

December 7, 2008

So do I. I wish things between me and Matt could have worked themselves out, but they didn’t and it was all my fault. That’s why he no longer speaks to me. If you ignore the people you love because you can’t handle a relationship, then eventually they’ll lose interest.

Depression has killed me in this way. I loved him, I swear I did. At the beginning, a year and 2 months ago. Then I started to blank him, and everyone. Turn up the iPod and walk away. Then when I needed them, they were gone. This is all my fault; this should never have happened.

I hate to say this, it takes away my pride; my control of the situation: I love him, but it’s too late.

Walk away, shut up shop and pretend this never happened. That I never wanted him back, that I’m the fool for letting my emotions control me.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 7, 2008 9:41 am

    *Hugs*

  2. December 7, 2008 10:04 am

    Thanks *hugs back*
    xx

  3. December 7, 2008 10:12 pm

    Im sorry that you feel like depression killed your relationship. I hope things improve and it doesnt happen again to you. Hannah X

  4. December 8, 2008 10:33 am

    Thanks Hannah. Too late me thinks, I’ve shut up shop. It’s happened twice and I’m sure it’ll happen again. Part of me thinks it’s something deeper though… *tries not to be on a downer* Oh well, um, *can’t think of anything to say so runs away*
    xx

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