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Well, I screwed that one up as well, didn’t I?!

November 10, 2008

I can’t do anything right. I should have jumped 2 and a half months ago, but I didn’t…. and why the hell didn’t I? Because I was told things’d get better… biggest fucking lie of the fucking century.

I haven’t cut for 5 months. But now the urge is back, the undying need to cut. My every thought and move aches for that lighter, that razor blade, that knife. But I haven’t cut YET, and that yet is a big yet.

The walk didn’t calm me down, it’s just aggravated me, people were following me. And why were they? Because they want to kill me, mug me, rape me.

I’m not well. Don’t try and kid me otherwise. Even the vodka I can’t swallow. What is this life?!

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