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Why is everything so food related?

November 7, 2008

Wee sound off ahead…

How does food manage to wangle itself into every event of my life?! French grammar, German grammar, what shall we do after class? We do exercises on pronouns in French, using food as examples; the ILTs for German at the mo are on food from around the world… argh!!! It is so annoying and proddy when you’re sitting there so, so hungry wishing you could eat those foods being shown, but knowing that you won’t because you’ll put on weight. I don’t want to know that it schmekts gut, that’s just plain torture! Each mention of food sends a stab through my heart, a stab I’d rather not have thank you very much! Then, to make it worse, the interweb is after me to: Facebook has weight loss ads, as do quite a fair few places. FUCK OFF! I don’t need to know, if I see that I could lose weight it’s tempting but I know I shouldn’t. They’re haunting me everywhere I go. I feel like they know and want to taunt me. I wish I could completely stop eating, stop having to worry about scales but the crux of the issue is: I stop eating I lose weight, I eat badly, I gain weight. But what is eating badly at the end of the day? What is in moderation?

I think this has all surfaced over the last few days because I’ve ballooned since I got back to Brum. I wanted my tummy back, I’ve got it and I hate it. I can never be pleased, instead of happiness it’s brought me edginess and criticism. I really don’t need this right now but it has happened.

To make things worse, I’m craving a chippy but I know I can’t… *buries head*

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