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Why I love privately trained therapists who come to work in the NHS

September 7, 2008

Tomorrow, I have to see him again, and I’m sure it will be just as crap as the last time at the place where I have memories of good therapy.

I really, really hate him and here’s why:

Picture a rainy, really really crap day where you want to curl up and die. On this day, I was already feeling bad enough, then he happened. And this is what happened:

It was a supposed assessment, which in reality meant him asking questions I didn’t understand, or I couldn’t hear him, then him getting angry and me getting upset. He was dressed like one of the builders, so on first impression I was rather unimpressed. The assessment part lasted about 5 minutes, and after that he made a load of assumptions… yay! I’d love to know who he thinks I am in his mind!

He slated the only support I’ve been getting, even though it hasn’t been that helpful, and although I agree a lot should have been done before, it hasn’t, so please don’t make me feel so bad about it. Maybe try and improve the future, or maybe not.

Then, he gave me some stuff to do (which is okay.) Comprising: this website that believes depression is caused by over dreaming. I’m going to be pretty honest here: what the hell? If anyone could explain…

So, he trained with those people, he’s crap. The approach was: “If you read this, and meditate then your depression will go away”. I wanted to scream. Even my doctor is now admitting things may be a bit more complex than first thought, and counselling is certainly highlighting some stuff I’d just accepted and thought wasn’t really that important, but it really is. Different approaches= confusion!

Tomorrow, I have to go see him, again. Hopefully for the second and last time… please?!

22 Comments leave one →
  1. September 7, 2008 6:12 pm

    Best of luck for tomorrow.
    Just found your blog, hope you don’t mind me linking it?

  2. September 7, 2008 6:23 pm

    Thanks, I’m hoping it’ll all go okay.
    And yeah, sure, go ahead and link it!

  3. Alison permalink
    September 7, 2008 10:10 pm

    Good Luck for tomorrow…

  4. September 7, 2008 11:14 pm

    Hope tomorrow goes well. X

  5. September 16, 2008 8:57 pm

    Yes, EXACT bloke I saw. I mentioned the “over dreaming” thing to the Crisis Team (whom I was seeing at the time, and mentioned how sceptical I was… their response was basically “er… he said what???”, and they encouraged me to give him a piece of my mind about it next time I saw him. Which I duely did.

    Let me guess… did he also recommend a Louise Hay book? What happened when you saw him?

    Good thing for you that you’re moving down to Aston! I still have to deal with him, though I’m praying that moving GPs will allow me to see a different MHP.

  6. September 16, 2008 9:01 pm

    No, we didn’t get that far! I had 2 sessions, an “assessment” and the one after where we could do nothing cos I’m moving. What did you say to him about the over dreaming thing?

    In response to moving GPs, you’d need to change out of south, to maybe central? I don’t even live in south, but my GP is, so I get referred there. Only way out is to get referred to another team, or stop, then get referred to south and pray to never see him again.

    Let me know how it goes, I hope you can get something out of his strange beliefs!


  7. September 16, 2008 9:24 pm

    I said how unscientific it was, etc, etc, also said I felt a bit patronised cos I’ve had this ILLNESS for about five years now, and I’d obviously had to find out about it, because otherwise I’d have gone mad thinking it was just me who saw things that weren’t there and kept trying to kill herself for no reason.

    Then he recommended the Louise Hay book to me and said he didn’t expect me to agree with all or any of it, but I might find some of it helpful.

    The book is “Heal Your Life”, which I’ve just acquired on ReadItSwapIt, and hence will probably read, but the Amazon reviews are not promising.

    All he ever seems to have done is go “hmmmmmm” and ask me to make another appointment. We’ve not done ANYTHING.

    Btw, was the place in town 42nd Street by any chance? I’ve not had much luck with them either yet 😦

  8. September 16, 2008 9:49 pm

    Okay. Heal your life sounds suitable scary, I think if I can find it, I’ll have a browse but I won’t put myself out, but I’d like to see some evidence for the over dreaming approach… (do you know anything about this, if so, tell me, because he said it then I forgot because I was so baffled. I can sort of understand that if you dream your brain is recharging, so you don’t recover, but…) Oh, if you’re wondering why I didn’t ask him, it was because the second time I saw him I was in no fit state to be out due to well… badness on my part.

    I don’t see why he can even be a therapist: if he’s doing nothing helpful, not moulding to you, and pushing his beliefs down your throat. You could complain, about him, I guess, or ask to change therapist? Then you might not have to go to extremes changing GPs (although reading your blog, it might just be a bad GP, not bad MHP!)

    I’m sorry he’s so inept, but I’m sort of glad it wasn’t just me who had a bad reaction to him! I worry about his notepad, the one that could easily be stolen, because he’s made no patient file for me (and I even have one with that team from when I saw someone else there!!! No effort whatsoever…).

    And ‘that place in town’ isn’t there, no. I live in (shall I bugger anonymity here?) S, and 42nd St wouldn’t accept me, so I saw CY, which is basically the same place just run by S PCT. I think they also do something like kooth ( which is online counselling? I hope they finally get back to you, waiting lists are a bitch, yes?

    Why the hell should we all have to wait so long? (Actually, okay. Being realistic here, I got seen by him what would have been a month from referral, if I’d not been away, but other waiting lists have been a bit tricky…) How long have 42nd St been?

  9. September 16, 2008 10:05 pm

    There’s no basis for it that I can find. LACK of sleep can send you loopy, partly because you need a certain amount of REM sleep (that’s the sleep where you dream, and it only kicks in after you’ve been asleep for a couple of hours already) in order to properly recharge, and partly because sleep deprivation is just generally bad. Sleep deprivation can even make you hallucinate.

    Part of my problem in my latest episode was that I kept waking up when I was asleep, so never got restful, restorative sleep, and spent the rest of the morning in bed trying to get to the point where I actually felt like I’d slept. When you’re feeling like life isn’t worth living, waking up and feeling like hell for a genuine (physical) reason isn’t exactly going to persuade you to drop the suicide plans. Mirtazapine, which the Crisis Team put me on, restores the sleep cycle and allowed me to actually get some restful sleep.

    Which of course is the complete *opposite* of the over-dreaming idea.

  10. September 16, 2008 10:14 pm

    Maybe it works for some? Yeah, I had difficulty with it, too. He couldn’t explain in lay terms what everything meant, so I just dropped it. But, I did go to the Buddhist Ctr and do most of his homework…

  11. September 16, 2008 10:16 pm

    The Buddhist Centre? What was that to do with?

  12. September 16, 2008 10:21 pm

    Him. He said, as part of my “homework” to try meditation, because it is, as we all know, the cure for depression :s.

  13. September 16, 2008 10:40 pm

    Ooo, he didn’t mention it to me. Actually, if you can get the hang of it, it’s quite good. Not for curing depression, mind, but being able to switch your mind “off” is quite a good skill to have (well, I find so). It helps me cope with those anxious types of thoughts that otherwise go galloping and galloping fasterandfasterroundmybrainuntiltheydrivememadandIjustwantthemtoSHUTUP.

  14. September 16, 2008 10:44 pm

    Oh, btw, the 42nd street saga is outlined on my blog – if you look at the tag “young people”, I think that should bring up most of it.

    Latest development is that they allocated me a support worker, but forgot to tell me. My aunt chased them up for me, and my worker gave me a call back the next day, which I missed, and left me a mobile number on which to call *her* that afternoon. I tried, but noone answered. Haven’t heard from her again, and am fast loosing the will to chase her up again.


  15. September 16, 2008 10:46 pm

    Yeah, I get where you’re coming from with that, but I already do the breathing (4 in 2 hold 6 out) and that helps me. But you meditate already, so maybe that’s why 😉
    I should really try and do it, just in the mornings it’s hectic and in the evening I’m either busy or feeling really, really bad and trying to distract myself.
    Okay. Need to do a resolution thingy, not that they ever work. I’m going to try and remember to give it a go.

  16. September 16, 2008 10:48 pm

    Eek, they do sound v. disorganised. And they must differ a little from CY then, they didn;t have that kind of thing there, only counsellors. I’ll have a look now, thanks! xx

  17. September 16, 2008 10:53 pm

    Oh, I just looked, and I haven’t tagged as many as I thought I had.

    *fiddles with WordPress*

    Hell, my packing can wait… right? 😀

  18. September 16, 2008 10:56 pm

    Heh! Where are you going? To/from Manchester? It’s getting busy again, and (I’m going to write a post about it soon, but what the hell!) It’s odd. This year, it’s not another “argh the students are back” but a moment of “omg, that’s me in a few weeks *panic*). Normally it doesn’t matter, but this year it really does…

  19. September 16, 2008 11:07 pm

    From one part of Manchester to another. I’m starting my third year (for the second time…) at uni next week, and moving back into hall – sacrificing some of my independence for a safer and more supportive enviroment.

    Picking up my keys from OP tomorrow (whoop whoop), but not actually moving my things out of my current place till the weekend.

  20. September 16, 2008 11:09 pm

    Ah, okay. That sounds like a good idea, good luck!

  21. September 16, 2008 11:14 pm

    Thanks x

    Any idea how I can magically convince my mountains of stuff to all fit in my dad’s car?:s

  22. September 17, 2008 6:25 pm

    Vacuum bags for clothes, and 2 trips if it isn’t too far (and Manchester isn’t really big, so persuasion perhaps?!) xx

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