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Why sober clubbing is no fun

September 6, 2008

So, after last weekend I decided to be responsible and do what I should always really do: not drink. Drinking causes a fun cocktail of suicidal thoughts, paranoia and auditory hallucinations, so, really, it’s better if I don’t, but last weekend I didn’t really care, I wanted to just be out with life.  Anyway I think I’ve deviated, so I’ll get back to clubbing.

I was at 5th Ave in Manchester and I love the music, it’s great all XFM type tunes, so that’s great but there are certain things I hate, and when you’re sober it’s worse:

£1 vodka&redbull: it smells disgusting, it makes me sick and it’s really sticky and you come home covered in the stuff, wake up in the morning and even if you haven’t drank, you feel the need to be sick.

People chuck drinks onto the dancefloor, I don’t know why you’d buy a drink just to throw it over people, water is free and doesn’t bloody stain!

You’re feet getting stood on by 6 inch stillettos: not only does it fecking hurt but your bleeding feet then gets sterilised by vodka…painn!

And, finally: I’m short and wear glasses meaning I’m a target for continually being elbowed in the face/back… Maybe I moan too much!

That, and your friends are so pissed they can’t stand up and you being the responsible one… me? hah. That I think is what pisses me off the most of all.

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