Bright City Lights

The bright city light trails left behind are so pretty to the eye. Walking in the dark is so beautiful, for this reason.
This city brings back so many memories, exacerbated by facebook and being able to hear people seshing, something I remember from freshers’ week last year. Cor blimey.
And now, the responsibility returns. My return [...]

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Day Two in the Ghost Town

No-one else has arrived yet… still. So it’s ghostly, spookily odd to hear noises and people talking; just not to be able to see anyone!
Boredom is settling in, freaked out arrived last night and I’m still wondering why we have a panic alarm in the hall?

This neighbourhood is great, as you can tell; I saw [...]

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A trip to Brum and Holiday

I saw the Psychiatrist today, as usual it was a delight to be there; I kept asking him to repeat things and he didn’t understand what I said. At least I was in a forgiving mood. We talked about why my mood’s dropped, he gave me the bog standard exercise, relax, don’t drink etc advice [...]

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Once you stop, you just can’t start

(and the only reason I’m writing this is because I have no ideas for a fathers’ day card!)
All week I’ve wanted to write, but I’ve either not had time or when I’ve had time I’ve not felt like doing anything. But now I have, now I am home. Straight out of student land and into [...]

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That sinking feeling

That sinking feeling is back, the one that hits at an inconveinient time, like on the A38 into Brummie land. Coming home from holiday, being in Manchester for a day and then going again really didn’t help, I wish I could have either gone from holiday to Brum, or not gone away (however lovely it [...]

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Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I’ll go and eat worms…

I’m in a rather melancolic mood, that’s all. I’ve been stupid in some things I’ve said, and I can’t accept being told things that I already know. I already knew that, too, but tell me and it’ll make me cry. The situation is fully resolved, I know that but I keep on harking back to [...]

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Time flies, history repeats

Being the boring person that I am on this friday evening, I’ve been looking at my wall on facebook: present day back to day one.
It’s scary to look at, not to see how I’ve changed, that I can see the depression taking over more and more; but in fact the opposite: how it was always [...]

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When the going gets tough…

The tough bury themselves in books/eat too much chocolate/clean obsessively/spend lots of time cooking/actually do some work/watch DVDs/go for walks in the cold with barely anything on.
This weekend has been hell.

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Confusion and blankness

I don’t think I’m well, and that’s that. My head is off into another world, when I touch something I can vaguely feel it, but not properly grip. My mind keeps running off and leaves me lying in bed not knowing what is going on. It took 4 hours for me to get up this [...]

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Scared of the future

I know my move back to Birmingham tomorrow will be easier than last time; I know people, I’ve had a routine there, nothing is so new as it was when I moved down there for the first time in September. It doesn’t make it any easier for me, though.
I’m really scared of being alone again, [...]

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