Tamagotchi

Sometimes it can make only the smallest thing to make you feel bad about yourself, and this time for me, it’s been a tamagotchi. You remember them from around 10 years ago? The little animals you had in a circular plastic casing and you had to look after them? Well, I stupidly decided to try [...]

Read Full Post »

More Photos…

I have nothing much to say at the moment; my brain’s on holiday and my feelings have gone with. There’s a gentle weight resting on me but it’s not too bad. I’m just floating around, this week’s been fairly good and long may it last.
I saw the doc again today, turned up and soothed her [...]

Read Full Post »

Achievements

So, today, after being repeatedly told by my doctor just how far I’ve come, how I’m not a quitter, how blah blah blah etc I’ve been considering my achievements…
So, what are they?

Uni- the whole moving away, everything on my own, all the work etc
Surviving Uni with all the stuff that’s been going on in my [...]

Read Full Post »

Impulsivity

Snip snap, quick decisions quickly made. Listen to your head, you silly girl. No, don’t do that; do this instead.
My head’s being really loud and controlling. Having lots of urges and obsessions and things I can’t let go, I just have to do. Just the thing is, that it involves my accidentally large stockpile of [...]

Read Full Post »

All or Nothing

Apathy, completely blank or emotions flowing through you; negativity et al.
I don’t actually know what’s worse- to feel something, which is an indicator of feeling better, but still feels equally bad, to nothing and numb as hell.
I sense it’s a grass is greener on the other side moment…
Things, at the moment, aren’t as good as [...]

Read Full Post »

On a scale of 1 to 10

How useless was today?
I think we can say very.
And that’s only about my meeting with ED:IT. So… what now?
First of all, there was an issue with signing in. I got there 15 mins before my appointment time and waited 10 minutes to see the receptionist. I told her my name and who I was there [...]

Read Full Post »

Routine Routines

I’m having difficulty following the eating routine. I’m feeling nothing, nothing at all, including hunger. If I don’t feel hunger, I won’t eat; at the moment my life is being guided by a clock, not my feelings. I’m slowly but surely getting a hunch that Tally is stopping working. Point is proved by my mood [...]

Read Full Post »

Beating the Blues- did I give it a fair chance?

Response to this here, a ‘review’ of Beating the Blues by Tim Lott on The Guardian webiste.
As a past user of Beating the Blues, I was quite interested to read this article. As explained in the article, Beating the Blues is a computerised CBT programme used by the NHS, amongst others, to, in my own [...]

Read Full Post »

Hometown Glory

Being home is weird, people you vaguely recognise from years past and you can’t go out without seeing at least one person you know; primary school, high school or college, they’re all there. At Easter I went out with some friends from college and outside the club some of the twits from high school who [...]

Read Full Post »

Speedy recoveries

Too many people recently have expressed confusion over how I can STILL be ill.
“What, you’re still on medication?”
Unfortunately, people, I am. I wish I was well, too. Instead, I’m not.
Everytime someone asks me this, I wonder too why I’m still ill; too lazy, too stuck? Just everything bad about a person is what I am.Why [...]

Read Full Post »