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Archive for April, 2009

“You’re looking well”- The ultimate insult? It somewhat defeats me because I’m not particularly feeling better! In terms of how I was feeling last time I saw her, then yes, things are a bit better but to hear that I was looking well was somewhat of an upset/annoyance and seemed, in a way, to discredit [...]

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What’s worse?

Feeling low, or nothing at all?
I’m getting really sick of this and also the way my mood keeps swapping from hyper bouncy to 6 feet under, in the space of 2 hours. Can we have some sense please soon, and some motivation?

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Drowning in hopeless

I’m sure it isn’t natural to hug your pillow this tight for this long… in fact I know it isn’t.
I’m back to where I began: back to suicide city, bed and blues. All the last few weeks have proved is that the grass is indeed greener on the other side. Back to reality; nothing’s changed [...]

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Insight into me

I attach the rope through the loop screw in the ceiling and let it cascade down to the floor. I calmly dissolve some pills in a glass of water then turn around and tie the noose. I neck the pills and stand on the chair and slide my head through the knot, teetering on not [...]

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My mouth remains gaffa taped shut, muted and helpless.
So, I’ll leave you with this:

I hope you can see it, it’s rather funny….

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Still very, very, very busy. I tried to post from my phone last night, but it appears it didn’t agree with wordpress- I wanted to throw my delicate E71 at the wall, but had to refrain seeing as I knew it’d break (so I threw my hardy K750i instead- gee, I’ll miss you!) Anyway, so, [...]

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That sinking feeling is back, the one that hits at an inconveinient time, like on the A38 into Brummie land. Coming home from holiday, being in Manchester for a day and then going again really didn’t help, I wish I could have either gone from holiday to Brum, or not gone away (however lovely it [...]

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The week past

I have 3 mini posts from my diary to share, none of them being worth their own post, but something that I wanted to put up nonetheless.
Achievement?
So, I ate cheese and I picked up a piece of seaweek. It doesn’t feel like an achievement but I guess it is. I still know I don’t like [...]

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You say it best…

… when you say nothing at all…
I’m back, still here, still not got anything to say. I’ve written stuff in my diary, but it sort of feels irrelevant, or I don’t know. I don’t feel anything; joy, sadness, all gone. I’m emotionless, and wordless. All the good things in life.

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Easter

I didn’t quite expect this to sneak up behind me when I wasn’t looking, but it has.
My Grandad’s gone. What does this have to do with Easter, I hear you ask. And the answer is Chocolate. He was the chocolate chief, every week he’d give us chocolate, at Christmas he’d manage to wrap up huge [...]

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