I’ve lent a few people keys to inside me today; firstly my doctor in a thank you card, my counsellor and Gracie.
I decided to give my doctor this link because I trust her and I wanted to give it her (I could ramble again about it’s a shame she’s leaving and blahh but I’m sure [...]
Archive for March, 2009
Letting people in
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged counselling, doctors, manchester on March 31, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The elusive sleep
Posted in Uncategorized on March 31, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Or perhaps a more apt title would be ‘Why you shouldn’t eat too much Ben and Jerry’s before bed”.
Update
Posted in Uncategorized on March 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Well things have calmed down a bit since my last post thankfully. I’m managing and my mood is pretty good. I’m quite enjoying the peace, quiet and not having to be anywhere at a specific time! I got my presentation done today, I really enjoyed it. I’m thinking of starting the essay tonight which I’m [...]
Suicide
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged suicide on March 28, 2009 | 4 Comments »
To have fought this far, to have tried so hard, to have resisted so much would all have been a waste, if I were to give in now. A whole year or so of fighting everything off left, right and centre. It’d all have been in vain, it’d have all been pointless if I were [...]
My flatmates
Posted in Uncategorized on March 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Today, I cried for the first time since I got to Uni, all the way back in September/October. And the reason? Their rudeness, their messyness and a smashed egg on the cooker. That’s right, an egg thrown on the cooker pushed me over the edge and made me ring my mum in a sodden mess. [...]
Sore throat stops play
Posted in Uncategorized on March 27, 2009 | 2 Comments »
It seems a sore throat stops you from being able to write as well as talk. I’ve also had the joys of a kaputt body to live with, too. But the sore throat is sort of slowly becoming a thing of the past, as is my good mood.
I feel trapped, trapped in a place where [...]
Posted in Uncategorized on March 23, 2009 | 2 Comments »
“A hundred times I wished to kill myself, but my love of life persisted. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of the most fatal of our faults. For what could be more stupid than to go on carrying a burden that we always long to lay down? To loathe and yet cling to, existence”
Candide- Voltaire
Normalcy
Posted in Uncategorized on March 21, 2009 | 5 Comments »
It’s not normal to turn around and see an arm on your pillow, is it?
Or to hear someone shouting at you through a megaphone, telling you to stop eating and to lose weight?
This is scary, damn it.
And I’m agitated as hell. Bouncing wore off, it appears. Two whole weeks of joyous total excitement and energy [...]
I hate who I used to be, I hate who I’ve become
Posted in Uncategorized on March 20, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Yes, the last post has disappeared; it was an over reaction to what was probably worry more than trying to be offensive.
In this post, I talked about what I hate about my thirteen year old self; seemingly I can’t win because I hate who I’ve become too. This makes me moany and emo, right? Well [...]
Tomorrow/later (depending on how precise you want to be)
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged assessments, CMHT on March 19, 2009 | 4 Comments »
I can’t sleep. My scalp and feet are itching like hell… and I’m worrying about tomorrow. I’ve looked through the last months’ worth of entries, selected things that really represent in a way how I am feeling and I’ll print it out and take it with me. Even if I don’t use it, I’ll feel [...]
